HEATHER DUKE, spoken

Martha Dumptruck took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note

VERONICA, spoken

Oh my God. Is she dead—?

HEATHER DUKE, spoken

Just some broken bones. Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT

Yo -
Girl -
Keep it together
I -
Knew -
You would come far
Now -
You’re -
Truly a Heather
Smell -
How -
Gangsta you are

VERONICA, spoken

Martha, I’m so sorry!

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT

Yo -
Girl -
Feel a bit punchy?
She’s -
Not -
Looking so well...
Still -
You’ve -
Earned that red scrunchie
Come-
Join -
Heather in hell!

VERONICA’S DAD, spoken

Where have you been?

VERONICA’S MOM, spoken

We’ve been worried sick! Your friend JD stopped by. He told us everything!

VERONICA, spoken

...‘Everything’?

VERONICA’S DAD, spoken

Your depression? Your thoughts of suicide?

VERONICA’S MOM, spoken

He even showed us your copy of Moby Dick!

HEATHER CHANDLER, spoken

He’s got your handwriting down cold

VERONICA’S MOM, spoken

Please, honey. Talk to us!

VERONICA, spoken

No, you wouldn’t understand!

VERONICA’S MOM, spoken

Try me! I’ve experienced everything you’re going through right now

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM & KURT

Guess who’s right down the block

VERONICA’S MOM, spoken

Your problems seem like life and death—

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT

Guess who’s climbing the stairs

VERONICA’S MOM, spoken

I promise, they’re not

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT

Guess who’s picking your lock

VERONICA, spoken

You don’t know what my world looks like!

HEATHER CHANDLER, RAM AND KURT

Time’s up! Go say your prayers!

Veronica’s running on, running on fumes now
Veronica’s totally fried
Veronica’s gotta be tripping on ‘schrooms now
Thinking that she can hide
Veronica’s done for, there’s no doubt now
Notify next of kin!
Veronica’s trying to keep him out now
TOO LATE!
He got in!

J.D., spoken

Knock! Knock! Sorry for coming in through the window
Dreadful etiquette, I know!

VERONICA, spoken

Get out of my house!

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