"Weird Al" Yankovic – We're All Doomed
Genre Pop

IntroWeird Al

*screams* We’re all DOOMED! *sobs* People are breathing out this living poison! It's trying to float into my orifices! I lost my car keys! I had to steal my neighbor’s Segway to get here today, and on the way I crashed in this dumpster, and these kids were making a video and now I’m on TikTok! I can't... Excuse me. Yeah? Being not hysterical? Despite, you know, things? Oh. I can do that. Dignified!

Gentlemen, welcome to the first Presidential Debate. Our first question is in the key of G sharp minor is:

Yodel

Skoo-doot-in-do-dit
Do-be-did-in-bibbida-bobbida-boo, baba-do-dit
Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-doo-datten-do-de-do-din-bow-boo-sho-pa-ja-kow-bop-in-do-dee

I’m so sorry

Verse 1Weird Al

2020's a raging Hellscape!
Any ideas on how to stop a worldwide plague?

Biden] We should be providing people the help they need
He knew back in February it was a deadly disease. What did he do? He’s on tape acknowledging he knew
[Weird Al] Really?
[Biden] He waited and waited and waited. And he didn’t even tell you
[Trump] President Trump did a phenomenal job. People said that
[Weird Al] Well
[Trump] We got the gowns. We made the ventilators we got the masks. I don’t wear masks like him---every time you see him he’s got a mask---the biggest mask I’ve ever seen. [the biggest mask I’ve ever seen.
[Weird Al] Will we get back all the jobs we lost?
Or should we set up eleven million Etsy shops?
[Biden] My economic plan would create one trillion dollars in economic growth
He has no intention of making it better for you all at home
[Trump] I brought back football! It was me! [me!
[Weird Al] What?
[Trump] Big 10 Football - and I'm very happy
[Weird Al] Who's it gonna be...
[Trump] They wanna take out the cows... [the cows!
[Weird Al] In the West Wing?
[Biden] Now here's the deal:
He has no idea what he's talking about

[RefrainWeird Al

We're living in the Apocalypse!
I'm begging you to put a stop to this!
Pretty please?

Biden] You say he can inject some bleach
[Trump] They cheat!

[Weird Al

If the Supreme Court
Is truly Supreme
Where’s the guac, ground beef, and sour cream?

Biden] The American people have a right to say
Who is the Supreme Court nominee

[Trump] Her biggest endorsers are from Notre Dame
We have a phenomenal nominee

[Verse 2Weird Al

I ran out of questions
But still got a while
It’s time to drop some bars
Let’s see how you freestyle!

Trump] In Europe they live there
Forest cities!
They're called forest cities
It’s a forest city

[Biden] You know
He talks about the art of the deal
China’s perfected the art of the steal

[Trump] Bad things happen in Philadelphia
Bad things

[Biden] He’s just afraid

[Trump] Proud BoysStand back and stand by

[Biden] He’s said there are very fine people on both sides
He said maybe you should drop a nuclear weapon on hurricanes

[Trump] The cars have computers all over the place

[ChorusWeird Al

Who is it gonna be?

Trump] They want to take out the cows, the cows!
[Weird Al] in the West Wing?

[Biden] Now here’s the deal
He has no idea what he’s talking about

[RefrainWeird Al

We're living in the Apocalypse
I'm begging you to put a stop to this!
Pretty please?

Biden] Keep yapping, man
[Trump] The People understand
[Biden] He doesn’t have a plan

[Verse 3Weird Al

Exploding trees
COVID 19
Hurricanes with names past the letter Z
Conspiracy theories about vaccines
Murder Hornets coming from across the sea
Too many memes about World War III
Can’t tell what’s hell or reality
Earthquakes ruining my whole week
'Cause I dropped my keys in the crack between the cup holder and my car seat!
*inhales*

ChorusWeird Al

Who is it gonna be?

Trump] They want to take out the cows, the cows!
[Weird Al] in the West Wing?

[Biden] Now here’s the deal
He has no idea what he’s talking about

[RefrainWeird Al

We're living in the Apocalypse!
I'm begging you to put a stop to this!
Pretty please?

Biden] You say---he can inject some bleach?
[Trump] They cheat!

ChorusWeird Al

Who is it gonna be?

Biden] that was really a productive segment, wasn't it?
Keep yapping, man

[OutroWeird Al

If you’ll excuse me, the murder hornets come out at midnight so I’ve gotta go home and seal the door to my Purge Room
... and I’ll take this, uh, light breeze with me
Smell ya later, dude!
Ciao Baby!

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