GIRL

My mummy says I'm a miracle

BOY

My daddy says I'm his special little guy

GIRL

I am a princess

BOY

And I am a prince

GIRLS

Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky

BOY

My daddy says I'm his special little soldier

GIRLS

No one is as bold or tough as me
Has my daddy told you?
One day when I'm older
I can be a soldier
And punch you in the face!

PARENTS

Take another picture of our pumpkin from this angle over here
I know we oughtn't say this; but she's clearly cuter than her peers
What a dear!
You threw up, honey, look at mummy!
Try not to vomit on your brother...
Now smile for mummy; smile for mother!
I think she blinked
Well, takе another!
Have you seen what he can do?
Is that unusual for day two?
Is smiling еarly not a sign of an exceptional IQ?
She's just delightful. So intuitious and insightful
Might he be a little brighter than the norm?
I know to say it's frightful form!

CHILDREN

My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle, as factually spectacularly
Actually miraculously
Fabulous a miracle as me!

MRS. WORMWOOD, spoken

A baby?
I'm not having a baby, what on Earth gives you that idea?
I'm not listenin' to this, this is quackery

DOCTOR, spoken

But- you're about to give birth...

MRS. WORMWOOD, spoken

Are you out of your mind?

DOCTOR, spoken

Mrs. Wormwood, you're having a contraction

MRS. WORMWOOD, spoken

I'm not having contractions!
Contractions are for pregnant woman- who are having babies!
I'm having a stinkin' baby!

DOCTOR, sung

Every life I bring into this world restores my faith in humankind
Each new-born life, a canvas yet unpainted...
This still unbroken skin...
Their uncorrupted minds...
Every life is unbelievably unlikely
The chances of existence
Almost infinitely small
The most common thing in life is life!
And yet every single life
Every new life is a miracle!

Chorus

Miracle!

MR. WORMWOOD, spoken

What?

DOCTOR, spoken

A girl

MR. WORMWOOD, spoken

What? You mean MY son, is a girl?

DOCTOR, spoken

I mean that your DAUGHTER is a girl

MR. WORMWOOD, spoken

Yeah- but the 'bloons, Doctor, I mean, the balloons- they say boy...

DOCTOR, spoken

Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just given birth to a beautiful, healthy, happy little girl, she's perfect! This is fantastic news

MR. WORMWOOD & MRS. WORMWOOD, sung

Why do bad things always happen to good people?
Fine upstanding citizens like you and me?
Why- when we've done nothing wrong
Should this disaster come along?
This horrible-

Chorus

Miracle!

MR. WORMWOOD & MRS. WORMWOOD

Weird looking-

Chorus

Miracle!

MRS. WORMWOOD

Hairy, little stinky thing!

MR. WORMWOOD

With no sign of a winky-ding at all!

DOCTOR

Every life is a miracle
Every life is a miracle!
Every life is a miracle!

CHILDREN

My mummy says I'm a miracle
One look at my face, and it's plain to see
Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord
It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me!
My mummy says I'm a miracle
That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball
You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical
There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as...

MATILDA

My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm
My daddy says I'm a bore
My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ
That kids like me should be against the law
My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole
No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me
Mum says I'm a good case for population control
Dad says I should watch more TV

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