Pilar

Girl, we need to have a chat

Serena

You cannot lose him to that

Margot

Both her hair and shoes are flat

Delta Nus

Get yourself back in the race now

Serena

Smile to make her understand that

Pilar

You are calm and in command then

Margot

Meet her gaze and shake her hand

Serena

Slap that smirk right off her face

Elle [spoken]

What?!

Delta Nus

You're the one who loves him more
All is fair in love and war

Pilar

Introduce her to the floor

Delta Nus

All is fair in love and war

Margot

Smack her 'til your arm is sore

Delta Nus

All is fair in--

Elle

Girls, girls! Violence is never wise
And anyway, she's twice my size
And look into hеr cold dead eyes
Carеful she can smell your fear but
Surely with some effort, I can
Pry her fingers off my guy
First, why would he go near her, why?

Vivienne [spoken]

Maybe this will make things clear
[Vivienne kisses Warner.]

All

Ew!

Delta Nus

How much more can you ignore
All is fair in love and war!

Pilar

I can't watch this anymore

Delta Nus

All is fair in love and war!
Don't just stare
It's love and war!

Margot

Ninja-kick her through a door

Delta Nus

Get in there it's love and war

Serena

Pull her hair and call her whore!

Delta Nus

All is far in--

Elle [spoken]

That's just rude!

Vivienne [spoken]

Is it? Well, then. We'll take it back to my room

Delta Nus

Ooh!

Elle [Delta Nus]

Hey Warner freeze
[Slam on the brakes
Hey Warner, please
[Her pearls are fakes
Hey Warner, she's a bag of snakes

Serena

Look at her, are you drunk?

Delta Nus

Give up the chance

Margot

Look over here!

Pilar

Miss Smarty-pants knows how to sneer
But can she dance?

Delta Nus

Yeah, can she shake her junk?
Shake your junk
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, woo!

Elle [spoken]

Wait, how is this helping? This isn't helping! Junk shaking's not helpful! Girls, he's not even here! He left when we were shaking booty. Clearly, booty can't solve everything

Delta Nus

Yes it can, yes it can, take back your man!
Yes it can, yes it can, we like this plan!
Take back your man!

Pilar

Who's man?

Delta Nus

Your man!

Pilar

Who's man?

Delta Nus

Your man! Your man!

Elle [spoken]

Ten hut!

Elle

Now we're done with shaking butt so-
Yeah, I'm talking to myself, so what!?
Eyes on me and mouths are shut
'Cause I am not defeated yet, think!
Yes I'm fabulous and hot and
Everything that she is not and
That got me precisely squat!

Elle [spoken]

What about her don't I get?

Serena

She's a beast but she fits in

Elle

Right...

Margot

Maybe that's the way to win

Elle

Right!

Pilar

Be her shadow

Elle

Be her twin!

, [ Elle grabs her own hair. ]

Delta Nus

Oh no!

Elle

Oh yes!

Delta Nus

No you can't!

Elle

Yes, I can! To the salon! I'm going brunette!

Delta Nus

No! Don't do something premature!

Elle

I don't care it's love and war

Leilani

How about a different manicure?

Elle

No, my hair, it's

Delta Nus

Love and war!

Elle

This will prove I love him more

Delta Nus

Some things aren't worth fighting for

Elle

All is fair in...

Delta Nus

Are you sure?

Elle

All is fair in...

Delta Nus

Are you sure?

Elle

All is fair in...

Delta Nus

Are you sure?

[Elle runs to the salon.]

Elle [spoken]

Make me a brunette!

Delta Nus

Love and war!

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