Hypocrite lyrics
Verse 1
Hurting myself by always doing what's compelled
Losing myself, always switching, I know I'm not well
Contemplating bidding the world farewell
Thinking maybe I'd be more at home in hell
Thinking maybe it comes from exposure to the net?
Remembering things I saw, man I wish I'd forget
Play my memories back almost like a cassette
Loss gets the better of me, overflowed with regret
Confrontations with my mother but know it's all love
Just unable to control what I have become
Just another of what I used to view as scum
Nowadays it seems like illness comes 2 for 1
It all happened when I broke, last night of 2 and 1 [2021
Far from what I would imagine, back when I was 2 or 1
Pop an ibuprofen, more and more for when pains provokin
Switching tones from school to home, I know I should be well-spoken
I know I should be more open
Why try when I'm broken
Living my days, always afraid, lacking all mental aid
Don't get asked if l'm okay
Thoughts keep me awake
In the end, I’ll always disobey
Verse 2
My parents
Always struggle at being transparent
Feel as if what I feel is inherent
They know something's wrong, it's been apparent
The lenses they use should have more focus
I wish that they would zoom in, so they’d notice
What I need is diagnosis
I finally feel good but then I go right back to hopeless
Soulmates will just leave me soulless
Looking at bracelets from one that I loved
I got to face it, she doesn't want me, she had already shoved
Me, out of her life, despite all that I gave her, it filled me with spits we never strayed from a fight
We should stray from it, it's never been right
If we don't change, then the future won’t bright
Hard to believe that we'll all be alright
Maybe then i’ll finally have some clear sight
Suicide at times seems like the only retort
For those with thoughts or loss
For innocents that lost in court
Better watch out or you'll end up in the report
Only then, people will finally show support
Been 15 years, already done with the tears, the highs of life could just one day disappear
Imagine if my family knew I was queer
That day would be one of my fears
Hide myself behind the skirts, for God's sake
Scared to show my face, how d I get to this state
The bottom of class, with thoughts in outer space
They fall back down and then shatter like glass
Who knew it would be me, the one who wouldn't surpass
The one and only true and proper outcast
I could die but then the thoughts would still outlast
Life just moves to fast, like the universe I will collapse
Verse 3
Living off the high
When confronted just deny
If I ever die
Just please don’t cry
It was my choice to decide
Hope you see through my eyes
Before I say goodbye
Just know we’ll be alright
Outro
Having all this time to myself
Make my mind just scream for help
All the thoughts been fogging my dream
Wake up sometimes just wanting to scream
Guilt from my mistakes always keep me awake
I’d break under the pressure of my own self-hate
Always think about it, I wish it wasn’t too late
Blink and times passed and hammered the stake
I hurt myself and hurt others in the process
1 step forward but 2 hurting the progress
I just went on kept spouting my nonsense
I could never ever even grasp the concepts
Just gotta try to keep my head on set
In hopes of ever finishing the projects
Leaving behind all that’s left
Better than living life still depressed
